Something special... Birth! - by Ni Zain

Until several years ago I did not have a clear picture of what "Birth" means. How much of us, our life quality and health is attached to our birth. Anything going wrong at birth has an influence on our whole life.

One of the biggest mistakes in human history was: Men taking over birth from women in the middle age. This has nothing to do with feminism or male rassicem. Fact is that birth is a pure women job. Even one of the most famous birth helpers - a man - believes so and as a result does not attain any births anymore. Contrary to modern believe, even fathers should not be at birth. They can hang out outside and give an outside helping hand. A very important job, really!

About a woman-birth: First of all, basically a woman can give birth by herself. I believe that if woman would give birth by themselves, there would be less problems in births. Babies would be born more healthy and women would recover faster from births. Birth traumas would be almost a thing of the past. The requirement for this condition would be that women growing up with the believe that they can give birth by their selves. That they learn everything about their bodies. That no doctor or midwife puts horror stories, of what can go wrong, into their minds. That women see their friends and families doing so. So women learn to trust their selves again and not a medical system. - Robin Lim from the Bumi Sehat has many ways to help a woman in birth, but sometimes it is just the best to let nature do the job. I hear of many births which went very well, but doctor and midwife have been too late to attend... Or the famous stories of babies born in cars and taxies. - If a birth is "so-called" over due (which is often not the case, as counting is done in a standard, but nobody can give birth under standard conditions), in stet of using the horrible hormone mix or going through a caesarian, you can just take some Castor Oil or homeopathic remedies. It works wonders. Unfortunately I was put on Oxitosin, which did not work even after 8 hours. Luckily I had a friend-midwife with me who gave me a homeopathic remedy which finally opened me and I could give a normal birth. In the beginning I was ready to give birth by myself, but got taken from other people to a clinic. Where I ended up with an Oxitosin torture for 8 hours. Talking to woman who had a natural birth and with another child - often the first one - a Caesarian or on Oxitosin, always tell me that anything else than a natural birth is just a horror trip for mother and child. Well, who else would know better than women who experienced both ways?

If we talking about location of a birth, ideal is the home. No transport for the mother in labor, all she needs is around, she feels save and can stay with her baby in a save and cozy atmosphere. To give you a clearer view just imagine: You spent 9 months in a warm, cozy place, all sounds are soft, you hear the heartbeat of your mom, the voice of your mom, something you know. But suddenly someone opens a door and plop, you jump out in a cold, bride and noisy surrounding. They cut something belonging to you and it really hurts, but you too spaced out to give any reaction. This is already to much for you. Than you get carried away, put in a bath tube, splashed with water, needles are put into you to get your blood group, in the worst case they vaccine you, means after all the stress of the birth you getting a head ache, feel dissy and all your body is painful. You don't even want to move anymore. And they thinking you sleepy... Than someone puts you in a smelly white bed, you just want to sleep, but all the other babies are screaming for their moms on top of their lungs. You think, okay, I join the club and scream too. But oh, what a horror. They put you a piece of plastic in your mouth that tastes horrible, but you hungry and it is sweat so you drink it. Finally after hours you back with your mom. She looks horrible. Has been through a lot. Additional she is surrounded by all this people you don't know. They actually really scary. They have so loud voices. Laughing all the time. You just want to sleep forever... - You think I am joking, no. This is reality of the first moments of life for almost all babies born on planet earth today. You think they don't know, they don't remember, they don't feel? Do you really believe this??? Stories can be worse or better, but at the end this is the essence of modern birth...

So now. The same story from a baby which got born gentle in a woman way: It was quite some work to get out of my moms tummy today day, but it was great. I could feel mom and I worked together very well and finally I landed softly in the warm hands of a really nice woman who smiled at me and put me gentle on my moms tummy. We both have been very tired after 2 days of labor, but all is fine now. It feels so good to feel her. She is warm and I can hear her heartbeat again. That makes me quite sleepy. But I feel my energy is coming back slowly. You wonder why? Well my mom and the midwife are very clever women. They know that if they cut my curt of the placenta I will be anemic for a very long time. They know I will be stronger and more clever if they leave it on until the placenta comes out. They also know that something happened during birth- I was a bit silly and wrapped my curt around my neck - so it was good to get a lot of blood back into my brain or... I would have been even more silly for the rest of my life... But back to me on top of my moms warm and now very fluffy tummy. Now mom sits up a bit and puts me this really nice and soft thing in my mouth. It smells like mom, it is MOM! Ah, and this is the best meal of my life. Fresh milk from mom. Still warm from her body. Just as I like it. Not to sweat. Tastes a little garlic. Mom! The midwife told you not to eat garlic! But I love it! Will love it for the rest of my life! After this feast I feel like having a nap and mom too. I sleep on top of her tummy and nobody disturbs us. It is nice here. Soft light. All around us smells like mom. I can hear some voices outside. They sounding quite familiar. Guess my older sisters and dad. And that dog is barking again, but they make him stop fast today. All sounds like always just a bit more clear. Ah, and mom. She looks lovely and has a big smile on her face and in her eyes too. She got a blanket over us to keep us warm. The midwife went home, but promised to look for us tomorrow. She said all is okay and it was a lovely birth. Dad was in for a few minutes but he said he has to do dinner for the girls and will come back later after mom had a nap. Nothing else to do today than relaxing next to mom, drinking and sleeping. What a life! If you asking me, this can go on forever! - Really nice, yeah... Some babies even have better experiences if they have a water birth and all went fine at the birth.

So now you telling me what is better for our world? What makes gentle people?

It is time that women all over the world are taking over birth again. In deciding what they want to do and not. Being in charge of birth at any time. You would not believe how often harm as been done to women and children without that the mother in labor was even asked if she agrees with the treatment. Babies are taken away from the mothers, getting vaccinations right after birth and often get bottle feed before even put on the breast. After this many babies refuse to take the breast for drinking. In an later article I will write more about how important breastfeeding is for both. Mother and child! Many woman which have children with issues such as Autism, Hyperactivity, Learning and Speech deficiency and many more, telling me that they had traumatic births. That their babies have been separated from them and they don't even know what has been done to them. Unfortunately many husbands are deciding what the wife has to do at birth. I met a lovely woman who wanted so much a natural birth, but her husband refused even just to listen to us. The end of the story - She had an emergency Caesarian, because the doctor told her that the baby would be dead if they don't get it out after 5 hours in labor. She had a bad infection afterwards which needed to be treated with Antibiotics. She could not breast feed her baby. It took her months to recover from the birth. She is still crying when she is talking about the birth. She is sterile now as the infection plugged up her tubes. 3 years after the birth her husband has another wife now, because... he wanted more children...

So please women all over the world: IT IS OUR JOB, OUR HEALTH AND OUR LIFE! Take back birth in women hands, educated young women in a gentle way, so they know about their bodies, get off with all the horror stories about bad births... They MAN made. Go to a midwife in stet of a doctor.

Note to all the nurses, midwifes, doctors and men out there: Please understand why this article had to be written. I know many of you doing a great job, but it is just not enough. To come to the point "Make love not war!" Birth today is a war! We need to change first our births. Thanks to all those who saved women in really emergency births. Please find ways to make ONLY emergency caesarians. Please find ways to make them more gentle, respect the newborn and the mother.

Once we understand the essence of birth - WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!

Ni Zain - The Bule Balian with thanks to Brenda Richmond and Robin Lim for their outstanding work at Bumi Sehat

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